'I learned to love again... then my fiancé died on our wedding day'
| Published date | 24 January 2021 |
| Publication title | People, The |
Dating is all about getting to know someone, being honest and open, but I had a secret. After just two months together, I was really falling for Eric and I knew that if things were going to get serious between us, he ought to know the truth.
On our next date we were watching a movie. One of the characters, who was struggling with mental health problems, had a semicolon tattoo. "Isn't that the same tattoo you have on your wrist?" he asked.
That's when I took a deep breath and told him about my ex-boyfriend, Mike. How we'd met in 2014 and I'd fallen for this funny, kind man. He was 28 and worked as a trader, and after a year of dating I'd been sure we'd be engaged soon.
Then, in June 2015, we were at my parent's house for my 30th birthday. It was the first time our families had met and it was a great day, with food and friends. My parents had a lovely big garden with a pool and everyone was having a fantastic time.
Suddenly, I heard my brother James scream, "Mike!" Heart pounding in my chest, I ran down the garden and saw Mike on the ground, soaking wet and lying on his side. "Please open your eyes," I begged as I fell to the ground and started doing CPR.
A shocking accident
The ambulance arrived and whisked him to hospital but there was only bad news. Mike had somehow slipped into the pool, broken his neck and was unable to breathe.
"I'm sorry," the doctor said. "Mike isn't going to wake up."
I was by his side when the doctors turned off his life support machine.
Eric sat quietly and listened to it all. He held my hand as I talked about the devastation and heartbreak. How I threw myself into my work as a school psychologist to try to distract myself. That I was terrified to love again in case it vanished. And that I'd got this tattoo - like the guy in the movie - to show my story wasn't over yet.
It was so hard to relive it all. How would Eric react to my past? How would he feel hearing me talk about another man who I'd loved and a relationship that had ended in death rather than a break-up?
But he was amazing. He opened up to me about his life and we had such a deep conversation. Our relationship became so much stronger. Five months later, we...
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