I miss the man Bill was ... but I am starting to love the man he is

Published date24 November 2021
Publication titleWishaw Press
Dementia may have robbed Bill of many of the qualities that made Anne fall in love with him.

But, rather than grieve for the man he was, Anne's love is growing for the man he is.

A 30-year friendship turned to romance for Anne and Bill when they both found themselves on their own, bereft.

Bill's wife, Margaret, died in 1997, with Anne's husband, Ian, losing his cancer battle seven years later.

When, in 2005, Bill was admitted to hospital with a heart condition, friend Anne suggested he stay with her to convalesce.

The loving couple have been together ever since.

"I was married to Ian for over 40 years, but when I got together with Bill, it was a different style of life," said Anne, who is session clerk at Gilmore and Whitehill Parish Church in Burnbank, Hamilton.

"We did not have any of the strains of not having much money and the naivety of youth. I worked as a personnel officer and had a good job and no money problems. Our life was like a holiday. We had a great life together."

In 2012, when retired TV engineer Bill was aged 75, he began to show signs of forgetfulness, and Anne would playfully mock him about his tendency to lose his keys.

But others were beginning to notice his failing memory.

On the advice of her sister, Anne raised concerns with Bill's GP, who referred him to Udston Hospital in Hamilton. It is there he was diagnosed with vascular dementia.

"We managed absolutely fine. It was not too bad to start with," said Anne, who decided to take charge of keys and cash, which he frequently misplaced.

Within four years of his diagnosis, a 79-year-old Bill was becoming more dependant. Although still capable of washing and dressing himself, Anne had to accompany him to the toilet.

A bout of pneumonia and a spell in hospital had a drastic effect on his dementia symptoms, and he began to rely on his partner Anne even more.

But she says the journey began to go downhill when he was struck by pneumonia for a second time.

"We still managed to go to church and still went out for lovely meals," said Anne, whose dapper partner's knowledge of fine wines rivalled that of a sommelier.

"However, my life changed a lot.

I used to sing, go out and entertain people. But I could not leave Bill. It changed from being a glamorous lifestyle to one of somebody being totally dependant on me.

"Luckily, I have the type of temperament that can handle it. I really don't know what would have happened, otherwise."

Never did Anne leave home without Bill, not even for a trip to her...

To continue reading

Request your trial

VLEX uses login cookies to provide you with a better browsing experience. If you click on 'Accept' or continue browsing this site we consider that you accept our cookie policy. ACCEPT