Chronicles of one woman’s journey towards well-being: acceptance
| Published date | 06 November 2019 |
| Pages | 59-60 |
| DOI | https://doi.org/10.1108/MHSI-09-2019-0026 |
| Date | 06 November 2019 |
| Author | Jo Mullen |
| Subject Matter | Health & social care,Mental health,Social inclusion |
Chronicles of one woman’s journey
towards well-being: acceptance
Jo Mullen
Abstract
Purpose –The purpose of this paper is to share the experiences and reflections of one woman’s journey
towards well-being.
Design/methodology/approach –A narrative approach has been taken to structure reflections based on
lived experience.
Findings –Reflections are offered based on a personal journey towards well-being.
Originality/value –This paper adds to the accounts of the lived experience of the journey towards
well-being, and as such, contributes to the understanding of the process of rebuilding a life.
Keywords Validation, Approval, Self-acceptance
Paper type Viewpoint
The concept of acceptance, I have discovered, can be quite a tricky notion to pin down. Difficult
to define tightly, it is a state dependent on that to which it refers. It could, for example, relate to
acceptance of self, acceptance of others, or acceptance by others, all of which require us to
navigate and incorporate a range of associated emotions, opinions and actions.
Looking back at the early part of my life, I can say that I was something of an expert when it came
to one type of acceptance in particular; I was a passive receptacle for everything that those
around me did, and I obediently held that position without question or protest. As such, I now
realise, I was never the central character in my own script. This pattern, the power of which had
been firmly established during those formative years, continued to reign for a very long time;
feelings were suppressed and rules set by others were automatically adhered to in the absence
of any sense of my own agency.
In the context of my own life then, it comes as no surprise that I have been much more accepting
of others than I have been of myself. This alone would have been enough of an obstacle on the
path to attaining a healthy level of self-esteem. However, this trend was accompanied by a
tendency to look outwards towards other people, in a desperate search for evidence that I was
both accepted and acceptable. Put more bluntly, I needed proof that I had a right to exist. So,
driven to pursue whichever route would lead to recognition and praise, I pushed myself to
achieve ever higher and more challenging goals. The flaw in this strategy, however, has recently
become clear to me; not only is it exhausting on all levels, but the much hoped-for endpoint can
never be reached. The sense of well-being I experienced each time a personal action or
accomplishment attracted favourable judgement from others could be described as the oft-cited
feeling of walking on air. But, in line with the nature of all things, it was a temporary state, and as
the memory of such moments inevitably faded, I would find myself back on the same track,
seeking my next source of validation.
I am fully aware of how stubborn I can be when it comes to following my preferred course of
action. Indeed, it often takes me more time than most to abandon a plan to which I have made an
earnest commitment and worked hard to develop, even in the face of unlikely success. I have
surprised even myself though (I am actually tempted to say impressed!) when I consider
the length of time I have stayed loyally bound to a policy that does not –and never did –serve me.
Jo Mullen is based at Moray
Wellbeing Hub, Elgin, UK.
DOI 10.1108/MHSI-09-2019-0026 VOL. 24 NO. 1 2020, pp. 59-60, © Emerald Publishing Limited, ISSN 2042-8308
j
MENTALHEALTH AND SOCIAL INCLUSION
j
PAG E 59
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