Piers Pommeroy's suffering from merger mania, but he's not sure which deal will cause more grief: his firm's planned takeover by a major plc or his mother's impending marriage to his former boss.

AuthorPommeroy, Piers
PositionSECRET DIARY - Diary entry

Week 1

According to Henry, whose alma maters regularly top the educational league tables and whose erudition, therefore, exceeds even mine, life reserves the heaviest blows for those with the broadest shoulders. If that were true, I'd surely bear a closer resemblance to Sly Stallone, whereas I look more like Keanu Reeves. (Note to future editor of the PP diaries: insert photo of me aged 16 at this point in the text to demonstrate this.)

So now I have yet another secret. The pressure of all this deception is rather getting me down. Even Celia has noticed that I have, temporarily at least, lost my light-hearted approach to life. She seems to think that I'm taking myself too seriously as a result of my exam success. Little does she know.

As I suspected, the presence of the group FD at the little meeting the other day was to ensure that we were all there to hear the big news. Apparently, our firm is to be taken over by a major quoted company, which is the reason why we're having to adopt IFRS. It's all still under wraps until the due diligence process is completed--details to be divulged to the favoured few next week.

Week 2

On Monday I had three secrets and now I have only one. Amazingly, the news about my mother's engagement to the old IAM didn't attract the quantity of ridicule that I'd anticipated. Either the drawing office crowd have at last cast off the set of juvenile behaviour patterns for which they've become famous throughout the region, or--and this is quite sinister to contemplate--they have become more subtle in the way they express their derision. For now, I will think the best of them and take their expressions of good wishes at face value.

News of my appointment as assistant financial controller is now also out. The reaction of one or two persons to this news has been tinged with a certain amount of negativity, but I've decided to bear this with an aloofness befitting my new position. I can always call on Celia to advise me when this perfectly justifiable demeanour threatens to become pomposity. She has an enviable record in bringing me down to earth.

The only thing that I need to keep secret now is the takeover. No problem.

Later, week 2

I'm not at all sure about this. Why can't we simply say what's happening while keeping the name of the prospective purchaser secret? And it's not a merger, whatever the FD wants to call it--sceptics should consult IFRS3. Instead, we are to pretend that the dozens of accountants and lawyers who...

To continue reading

Request your trial

VLEX uses login cookies to provide you with a better browsing experience. If you click on 'Accept' or continue browsing this site we consider that you accept our cookie policy. ACCEPT