On The Borderline
| Pages | 21-22 |
| Published date | 14 December 2010 |
| Date | 14 December 2010 |
| DOI | https://doi.org/10.5042/mhrj.2010.0733 |
| Author | Kayla Kavanagh |
| Subject Matter | Health & social care |
Mental Health Review Journal Volume 15 Issue 4 December 2010 © Pier Professional Ltd 21
Kayla Kavanagh
On The Borderline
Abstract
The author provides a personal perspective on personality disorder, based on the release of her single, On
The Borderline, at the First National Personality Disorder Congress.
Key words
Personality disorder, First National Personality Disorder Congress, service user view.
On The Borderline (lyrics)
Standing close to the edge of the world there’s a
bittersweet infinity
Where the darkness speaks of the rest in peace for
the souls who fell asleep
Familiar claws pierce into my skin as the rush of
fear overwhelms me,
I am lost, I am torn open again
And I’m looking into the mirror now
See a stranger staring back at me
There’s no light or sound, no one else around
To hear you scream in the silence
I am gasping for air, I am dying for peace
I am begging you please don’t abandon me
As the blood and saltwater flows …
Here on the borderline, on the borderline
On the borderline
You watch me slowly unravel to the floor as the
world stops turning
Fragments borne of the shattered self too small to
be pieced back together again
Through the hazy mist of tears hasty glances
Walking by now, rustling papers to drown out the
sound
Of the girl going crazy and losing the will to live
The last 12 months of my life have been
an absolute whirlwind, professionally,
personally and (possibly most importantly of
all) psychologically. Having struggled with
undiagnosed mental health issues all my life,
last year I was finally diagnosed with borderline
personality disorder (BPD). I cannot describe
the incredible sense of relief simply being able
to put a name to the condition gave me, along
with the growing understanding both of the
condition and how it affects me on a daily basis.
Having spent several months learning about
it and beginning treatment, I began focusing
my song-writing and wrote On The Borderline,
which reflects the difficulties and determination
associated with living with BPD.
I was honoured to be asked to perform and
speak at the inaugural PD Congress in November
2009, where over 250 professionals and service
users came together to celebrate the creativity
and imagination that is so often overlooked in
people with a PD. The event was incredibly well
organised and extremely professionally run,
with a fantastic array of speakers, workshops
and seminars. My own contribution as keynote
speaker/performer was to give a brief testimony
of my own personal experience living with
BPD, followed by a performance of two songs,
including the single On The Borderline, which was
launched at the Congress.
I met so many amazing and inspirational
people at the Congress, who encouraged me to
continue raising awareness of PD through the
music that I write and perform – and I have
now released an album, Stranger than Fiction, to
do exactly that! Following the Congress, I was
recruited to join Emergence’s team of ‘train
the trainers’, delivering the Knowledge and
Understanding Framework (KUF) to professionals
across the UK. In addition to my work with
Emergence, I am an involvement worker with
Rethink and active with my local Mind group
and NHS, where my partner Nigel Pease and I
10.5042/mhrj.2010.0733
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