DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR…

Published date05 April 2024
Publication titleEvening Chronicle
THE lights go out completely in director Curtis Vowell's Dark Ages comedy, which instigates a peasant uprising in an olde worlde England where impromptu banquets steady royal nerves and dissent is met with merry dismemberment

Spirited woodcutter Humble Joan (Nicola Coughlan) leads this bloodthirsty insurrection against unpopular queen Dagan (Aimee Lou Wood), who inherited the throne from her tyrant father Ur-Nammu (Murray McArthur).

The toppled monarch is gleefully deluded about her predicament and goes on the run with her trusted servant Shulmay (Lolly Adefope) in search of a new army to restore her rightful place on the throne.

Neighbours King Ivarr (Paul Kaye) and King Guthrum (John Macmillan)

from across the sea may provide a lifeline.

Sweet and dim-witted dung shoveller, Bobik (Nick Frost) agrees to accompany Dagan and Shulmay on their exhausting 140-mile odyssey to the coast with treacherous royal adviser Leofwine (Jessica Hynes) and two guards in lukewarm pursuit.

En route, the fugitives seek kindness and counsel from the queen's subjects including Felix the ironmonger (James Acaster) and Witgar the baker (Nitin Ganatra).

Visually and tonally, Seize Them! trudges through similar terrain to Horrible Histories: The Movie - Rotten Romans, albeit with a distinctly adult sense of humour, on-screen bloodletting and a cartload of expletives.

Emmy Award-winning Veep screenwriter Andy Riley's script urgently requires a grindstone to sharpen the blunt edges of its rapier wit so the film can at least cut the dead air.

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